


Butterfly

by Hiraethin



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Angst with a Happy Ending, Doctor Kim Seokjin | Jin, Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Kim Namjoon | RM & Kim Taehyung | V Are Related, Kim Taehyung | V & Park Jimin Are Best Friends, Kim Taehyung | V Is Whipped, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Underground Rapper Kim Namjoon | RM, Underground Rapper Min Yoongi | Suga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 14:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18033488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiraethin/pseuds/Hiraethin
Summary: It's a strange place, full of strange people.Taehyung thinks Min Yoongi is the strangest of them all.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -Mentions of mental illnesses (Anorexia/Bulimia, Insomnia, Suicidal thoughts)

_Dear Diary,_

 

Nope. Not right.

 

_Hello, Journal._

 

Not... a bad start. That'll do.

 

> _Hello, Journal._
> 
> _My name is Kim Taehyung, and I killed a man._

* * *

 

It goes like this: Kim Taehyung, corporate heir to one of the biggest business empires, attending a high-class dinner party. 

 

And like this: Park Juho- his sister's fiance and heir to their rival company- bleeding on the marbled floor from a wound on his stomach. 

 

And then it keeps going- on the news, in the magazines, on every media outlet: Kim Taehyung's fingerprints and Park Juho's blood found on the same, broken, champagne bottle. 

* * *

 

"Oh My God."

 

"24-"

 

"Oh. My. God." 

 

"25-"

 

" _Oh My God_ , Taehyung! -" 

 

"26- Ow! What, hyung? Someone has to keep count." 

 

Namjoon sighs, massaging his temples, and glares at his brother. Taehyung pouts, trying to rub at his shin where Namjoon kicked him, and fails. 

 

Fails, because his hands are handcuffed. 

 

Namjoon groans. 

 

"You're too worked up about this, hyung," Taehyung whines, grimacing at the itchy feeling of metal on his skin. 

 

"And you're too calm! Taehyung, in case you missed it, they're taking you to jail!" Namjoon yells at him, angry and worried and frustrated. Taehyung flinches. 

 

"Joonie, getting angry isn't going to help anyone," Seokjin sighs, placing his hand on Namjoon's shoulder to comfort him. 

 

Kim Seokjin is his brother's boyfriend. Taehyung is glad that he's there to support him. 

 

Namjoon deflates, and if Taehyung wasn't busy feeling so detached, he'd feel bad for his brother. 

 

He feels removed from the situation. Like he's not there. Like he didn't just get arrested. Like he doesn't have someone's blood staining his hands. 

 

"We'll figure something out, Joon. You're a great Lawyer. He's probably just a little overwhelmed," Seokjin is saying, and Taehyung watches him hug Namjoon. 

 

"I know, Jinnie. I know." Namjoon buries his face in Seokjin's shoulder. 

 

 _'No,hyung. You don't know at all.'_ Taehyung sobs in his mind. 

* * *

 

After various trials, arguments, and court-sittings, Taehyung is declared innocent. Not free of charge, not completely, but he's relieved all the same. 

 

The guy is recovering. Alive. Injured, but still alive. There were enough eye witnesses to prove that it was self-defense. Namjoon and Seokjin pulled some strings. 

 

He's not going to jail. 

 

Not in the traditional sense, at least. 

 

"This is the most we could get away with, Tae-ah. It's just boarding school," his brother explains patiently. 

 

 _'Yeah, except they're going to '_ correct _' my flawed mentality and keep me on a leash,'_ Taehyung thinks bitterly. 

 

B.H Boarding School--from what Taehyung has gathered--is the half-way point between juvenile prison and a mental institution. It's a place where 'troubled' youths are sent to become functional members of society again, under professional supervision. 

 

The only silver lining is that he won't be alone. Seokjin--being a qualified doctor--works there, and is in fact coming to drive him to the place. 

 

He sits on his brother's sofa and lets Namjoon fuss over him. He's all packed and ready to go, though the things he's allowed to take are distressingly little. 

 

It might be the last time he gets to see his hyung for years. He tries not to think about that. 

 

Seokjin finally arrives, and they help him load Taehyung's bag in the car. B.H Boarding School is a bit of a drive from Namjoon's place, and he wonders how many hours Seokjin loses to the road. 

 

He hugs his brother tight, lets him whisper promises and advice into his hair, makes sure to get in a few parting words before detaching. 

 

"You should ask Seokjin-hyung to move in."

 

Namjoon's embarrassed sputtering follows him all the way down the road. 

* * *

 

The place is smaller than Taehyung imagined it to be. 

 

Smaller, and not as intimidating as he first predicted. 

 

He doesn't know what he was expecting. Pristine white walls? Barbed wire fences? Lunatics in straight jackets? 

 

Whatever it was, it's definitely not two guys dancing in front of the television to girl group songs. And dancing quite well, at that. 

 

One of them has **pink** hair. 

 

Taehyung turns his incredulous stare to Seokjin, who just shrugs and grins wryly. 

 

Upon spotting him and Seokjin, the other guy approaches them. 

 

The first thing Taehyung notices is; wow, he has a nice smile. 

 

The second thing he notices is the lanyard dangling from his neck. 

**Jung Hoseok**

**B Ward**

**Therapist**

"Hello! You must be Taehyung. Jin-hyung told us you were coming. I'm Hoseok." He beams as he shakes Taehyung's hand enthusiastically.

 

After almost dislodging Taehyung's arm with the force of his handshake, he smiles at Seokjin and turns around, walking towards a hallway. 

 

"Follow me, I'll show you to your room. I promise you'll love it here!" 

 

Taehyung almost whimpers aloud. What a strange place. 

* * *

 

 _What a strange place_ , Taehyung finds himself reiterating later. 

 

A few seconds after he's shown to his room, Hoseok starts telling him about the institute. The rules, the daily schedule, the activities, etc. 

 

Taehyung half-listens as he unpacks his bags. He can't help but notice that the room has two beds. Does he have a roommate?

 

"-Oh, that's right! Here." 

 

Taehyung looks up from his crouch on the floor. Hoseok is waving a leather-bound book in his face. 

 

"A journal. It's an important part of the program here," Hoseok tells him. 

 

"Program?" He asks, accepting the journal. 

 

"The rehabilitation program. Everyone's here for a reason, and it's easier to talk to a book than to a stranger," Hoseok explains. "Plus, we review these every once in a while. It's helpful to keep an eye on everyone's mindsets and progress." 

 

Taehyung stares at him blankly.

 

"There's gold stars!" The elder whisper-shouts, showing Taehyung a sheet of gold-colored stickers with a wide grin. 

 

Taehyung grins back. He's sold. 

* * *

 

In the whirlwind of activity that is Hoseok's general existence, Taehyung forgets all about the roommate thing. 

 

He's done unpacking, and now he's bored. They're not allowed to have their phones. Taehyung almost cried when Seokjin took his. 

 

 _'For my own good, my ass'_ Taehyung pouts miserably. After a few minutes of sitting there aimlessly, he starts to explore the room. 

 

It's spacey enough. There's two beds, two cupboards, and a small bathroom, but it doesn't feel crowded at all. For a second, he considers going through his roommate's stuff, but he decides against it. 

 

It's only polite. Plus, he could be some sort of mass-murderer. 

 

Taehyung shivers a little at the truth of that statement. 

 

He lays on his bed and tosses around. Tries taking a nap. Fails. Spots the journal Hoseok gave him. Debates. 

 

Finally, he rolls over and grabs it. Opening it to the first page, he holds the pen. It's connected to the spine of the journal with a leather strip. 

 

Taehyung finds himself contemplating the use of the pen as a murder weapon. He's not sure what kind of thoughts he's having, so he starts to write to distract himself. 

 

> _Hello, Journal._
> 
> _My name is Kim Taehyung, and I killed a man._
> 
> _I don't feel any regrets. He was an asshole. He threatened my sister._
> 
> _I'm not sorry for hurting him. I'm sorry he's still alive._

 

The door to the room opens, and Taehyung flails and snaps the journal shut. He whips his head up to glare at the intruder. 

 

"Who the hell just walks in without knocking?!" He exclaims, adrenaline overriding his filter. 

 

The guy pauses in the doorway, like he just discovered Taehyung existed.

 

"..... This is my room. I don't have to knock," he says, face blank and voice emotionless. 

 

" Oh... Hah. Sorry.... I'm Kim Taehyung, your new roomie," he introduces himself with a grin, getting up and offering his hand to the guy. 

 

The guy looks at his outstretched hand and grunts. 

 

And then he walks back out, closing the door in Taehyung's shocked face. 

 

Taehyung gapes at the closed door, arm hanging dumbly in the air. 

 

_'That..!'_

He's not going to throw a fit. He's not. He's an adult. He's not going to have a tantrum because some rude, _uneducated_ _caveman_ had the gall to spurn his kindness. 

 

He stomps back to his bed, flipping the cover of the journal open, and scribbles furiously. 

 

> _Hello, Journal._
> 
> _My Name is Kim Taehyung, and my new roommate is a complete asshole._


	2. II

Taehyung wakes up bright and early, feeling pleasantly well-rested. 

 

Alright, so that's a lie. He stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, and cried a little about his entire situation until he fell asleep. He's kind of glad his supposed roommate didn't come back last night. 

 

After freshening up a little, he checks the schedule Hoseok left him. Breakfast. 

 

Breakfast means meeting other people. Other, strange people. Possibly crazy people. 

 

He feels a little bad for passing judgment without meeting them, but so far he's had no reason to trust anyone. 

 

But he also hasn't eaten since yesterday, so he decides to brave the outside world. 

 

Finding his way to the kitchen is easy. It's surprisingly empty, save for Seokjin making breakfast, and Taehyung theorizes it must still be quite early. 

 

"Morning, hyung," he mumbles in greeting. Seokjin smiles and tells him that breakfast will be ready in a few. 

 

Taehyung goes out into the common area, where he sees a large dining table, and picks a seat at random. 

 

The two of them engage in small talk that eventually becomes a full-on argument about whether cereal or milk comes first. 

 

A snort draws their attention to the kitchen doorway, where a new person is making his way to the table. 

 

It takes Taehyung a moment to place him as the guy Hoseok was dancing with yesterday. 

 

"I like your hair," he tells the guy seriously, Cereal debate forgotten. 

 

He blinks, and then smiles at Taehyung. His eyes disappear into little crescent moons. 

 

"Thank you! My name's Jimin. You're the new guy, right?" he asks, sliding into the chair across from Taehyung. 

 

"Yup. I'm Taehyung." He extends his hand, a little reluctantly, but Jimin shakes it enthusiastically. _Take that, jerk face!_

 

Jimin gets his plate and a pointed look from Seokjin, and they eat while making small talk. It's surprisingly pleasant. 

 

He refrains from asking what, exactly, Jimin is in here for. He doesn't think he'll get any gold stars for making the other uncomfortable. 

 

It's pretty easy-going until someone clears their throat behind him. 

 

Jimin suddenly stops talking, face pale, and lowers his eyes to his plate with a murmured "hyung".

 

Taehyung cranes his neck to look behind him and almost chokes on his food. There stands his roommate, in all his broody glory.

 

"My chair," he says to Taehyung, eyebrow raised expectantly. 

 

It takes Taehyung a minute to realize what he means. Partly because he's busy looking his roommate over. In a very analytical way, of course, why would he be checking him out? That's just absurd. 

 

"I came here first," he scowls at the guy. 

 

Instead of getting mad, like Taehyung half expected him to, the guy just shrugs and sits next to him. 

 

Huh?

 

Seokjin brings the new guy his breakfast, patting him on the shoulder. Taehyung holds his breath, but the guy doesn't even tense up. 

 

Huh.

 

Beeakfast is a quiet affair, after that. 

* * *

 

His schedule is pretty loose, for the most part. The only mandatory activities are breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 

 

Plus, of course, the group therapy session. 

 

It starts with what Hoseok calls an 'introduction circle'. 

 

Which isn't a very apt name, given that there's four of them (along with Seokjin standing in near vicinity and making comments) and it more resembles a square. 

 

He learns three things that day:

 

1- Jimin is a really great singer

2-Seokjin really loves dad jokes

3- His roommate's name is Min Yoongi

* * *

 

Jimin and Taehyung become fast friends in the following days. His roommate--Yoongi--never returns to the room. Taehyung sleeps and wakes and the bed next to his remains empty. 

 

Curiosity gets the best of him one day, and he asks Jimin about it. 

 

"Ah, Yoongi-hyung? I really don't know much about him," he confesses. 

 

"Why'd you look scared of him that day, then?" 

 

Jimin bites his lip and glances around, before lowering his voice and leaning closer, saying;

 

"I'm not scared of him. Just wary. He's kind of cold, and he disappears all the time. No one knows where he goes. He's strange." 

 

There's that word again. Taehyung furrows his eyebrows, humming in agreement. 

 

"Just... Be careful around him, Tae. He's bad news." 

 

Taehyung thinks back on what he knows of the guy. Silver-grey hair. Short, pale. Aloof. Intimidating, sure, but dangerous? 

 

He doesn't know what to feel about him. 

 

Later that night, he writes in his journal again. 

 

> _Hello, Journal._
> 
> _My Name is Kim Taehyung, and I'm confused._
> 
> _Everyone seems to be hiding something._

He deliberates, biting the end of his pen. 

 

> _It's a strange place, full of strange people._
> 
> _I'm a strange person._
> 
> _I don't feel like I belong here at all._  

* * *

 

Taehyung hates not knowing things. He's always been too curious for his own good, and he doesn't stop until he gets answers. 

 

The source of all his consternation? Min freaking Yoongi. 

 

He's hardly ever interacted with him, aside from that first rocky encounter. He's still not sure what was up with that, actually, since every other time they meets he seems perfectly amicable. 

 

In a small place like this, it's hard not to cross paths with everyone at least once a day. Taehyung never sees Yoongi outside of schedule. It's like the other man doesn't exist at all. 

 

Taehyung sleeps alone, wakes up alone, and wonders. 

 

It takes two weeks before he decides to snoop around a bit. 

 

He starts by asking around. Not too directly or obviously, otherwise they'd find it suspicious. 

 

Mostly it's information he already knows, but there's some interesting oddities. 

 

"Yoongi? Ah.. He's been here the longest," Seokjin furrows his eyebrows in thought, "I'm pretty sure he went to school with Joonie." 

 

Taehyung's eyebrows go up in suprise. He didn't know that. He files that away for later. 

 

"Ah, Yoongi? He's a little stand-offish, but he's a good guy," Hoseok grins at Taehyung's doubtful look, "don't let his tough facade fool you!" 

 

The best person to ask would be Namjoon. Sadly, he's not allowed to contact him. Taehyung resolves to bring it up in future conversations. 

 

That leaves.... The Lion's den. 

 

Taehyung enters his room with trepidation and feels a little silly. Yoongi hardly ever came to the room since Taehyung arrived. 

 

In any case, he makes sure the door is closed properly. They can't lock their doors for the same reason they don't have mirrors in the bathroom and have to use plastic spoons. 

 

 _'For our safety,'_ Taehyung thinks sardonically. 

 

Then he slowly creeps over to his roommate's end of the room. Slowly, in the unlikely chance that he placed any traps there. Or a protective barrier seal. It's hard to tell, with these types. 

 

When he remains relatively unscathed, he starts looking around for clues. 

 

The bed is neat, seldom used. The cupboard holds nothing but clothes--they're mostly monochrome. Boring. Ordinary. 

 

But Min Yoongi is neither of those things. 

 

Hoseok thinks he's good. Jimin thinks he's dangerous. 

 

Namjoon-hyung never talked about him at all. 

 

Taehyung finds himself more and more curious. 

 


	3. III

Taehyung thinks he's found out where his elusive roommate goes all the time. 

 

It's less of a discovery and more of an accident, actually.

 

He's been having an off day. It's one of those nights; where the moon is high in the sky and the shadows stretch too long across an empty room. 

 

Sleep doesn't come easy. Taehyung pulls on a sweater and decides to venture outside.

 

It's silent. Taehyung's mind gets the best of him in the dark, and the hallways seem alive. He shivers and walks a little faster. 

 

Back when Hoseok gave him a tour of the place, He'd said that there was a rooftop that no one ever used.

 

He debates going for a moment, thinking that it'd probably be locked, but eventually decides that it wouldn't hurt to check. 

 

Suprisingly, it's unlocked. He opens the door and steps outside, finding it completely barren. There's something.... calming about the place. The night air is cold, the moon is welcoming; Taehyung stays there until the sun rises. 

 

When he gets back to his room that morning, Yoongi is asleep in the bed across from his. 

 

Something shifts that day. 

 

After that, it becomes his secret hiding place of sorts. He doesn't dare tell anyone about it, not even Jimin. What if it was a fluke, that the door was open that night? He'd loathe to alert them to it. 

 

There's very little that Taehyung can call his own, in here. It's his escape during the dark nights when it seems like everyone's watching him, judging him. When there's blood under his fingernails and he can't wash it off, no matter how much he tries.

 

On one such night, Taehyung heads to the roof, intent on fresh air and solitude. 

 

He's a little miffed to find a silhouette already there. The roof is only illuminated by the full moon, and Taehyung can barely make out their hair color. 

 

Silver-grey, like moonlight. Min Yoongi. 

 

Taehyung feels his breath catch in his throat for too many reasons. 

 

He steps closer, hesitant, and makes himself comfortable against the railing. Yoongi acknowledges him with a nod. 

 

Taehyung's eyes widen when he spots the cigarette in his mouth. He's ready to bet his arm that he's not allowed to have that. 

 

He says as much, and Yoongi shrugs. 

 

Taehyung is a storm trapped in skin. His very existence is loud; all anxious fidgeting and mindless humming. Yoongi's very existence is too still, too quiet; the space in his lungs so full of smoke that he can barely breathe. 

 

Neither of them talks, in the end. 

 

Whatever leftover wariness Taehyung has is swept away by the gentle breeze. It's surprisingly companionable. Taehyung lets his eyes roam the roof,and he spots something above Yoongi's head. 

 

"Smoking here is prohibited," Taehyung notes, looking at Yoongi in bewilderment. 

 

Yoongi glances at him out of the corner of his eye. He makes no move to extinguish his cigarette. 

 

"You're standing right under the sign," Taehyung points out, bemused now. 

 

Silence, and then-

 

"I'm also in here for arson," Yoongi finally murmurs, flicking a lighter he's definitely not allowed to have, "That hasn't stopped me either." 

 

Taehyung throws his head back and laughs. 

 

That morning, illuminated by the rising sun, they stagger back to their room together. 

 

> _Hello, Journal._
> 
> _My name is Kim Taehyung._
> 
> _This feels like... change._

* * *

 

The following days witness a tentative sort of companionship between the two roommates. 

 

They meet more frequently, and talk more frequently when they do. When Taehyung finds it hard to sleep, he sneaks away to the roof, where he keeps Yoongi company. 

 

Min Yoongi is all scathing words and contradictions. It takes Taehyung some time to get used to it, to parse the hidden meanings and understand his humor. 

 

Yoongi's words mean nothing at all. Yoongi's silence means everything. 

 

Taehyung thinks he's thrilling.

 

Somewhere between too early 'good morning's and too late' goodnight's, Taehyung finds himself falling. 

 

He only allows himself to write about him in his journal once, a page at the very back with no heading or signature:

 

> _He has ash in his hair and smoke in his lungs._
> 
> _He smells like nicotine and regrets._
> 
> _He holds himself together with chains and thorns and will alone._
> 
> _He's addicting. I can't stop._

 

"I'm my next life, I want to be reincarnated as a rock," Yoongi deadpans in one of their group therapy sessions-- _("Mass brainwash exodus," he'd complained once and Taehyung choked on his amusement)-_ \- when it's his turn to answer. 

 

Hoseok asked them all what they'd like to be in their next lives. He said it 'gives an insight into their characters'. Everyone laughs at Yoongi's answer, but Taehyung knows he means it. 

 

"Don't worry, hyung! You can be a rock, and I'll be there to carry you around. Anywhere you want to go," He promises him earnestly, eagerly. 

 

Yoongi pauses for a second, then smiles. It's beautiful and sincere; crinkles his eyes and shows his gums. 

 

It's absolutely breathtaking--he's absolutely breathtaking and Taehyung is gone, _gone_ \--

 

> _God, I crave him._

* * *

 

It comes as something of a shock, when Taehyung realizes that he's no longer the new guy. 

 

Jeon Jeongguk, youngest person in their mismatched family as of now, becomes Jimin's roommate one morning. 

 

(And it's ironic, that he speaks so easily of family when he feels like he _doesn't belong at all_ -) 

 

A few days after he joins it becomes clear that he's very shy. Or just hates them all. It's still up in the air. 

 

The most Taehyung has heard him say is his name, honestly. Jimin seems to be having just as little success, despite sharing a room with the guy. 

 

"Roommates," Taehyung shakes his head, grinning wryly, and Jimin snorts in agreement. 

 

That's not to say he hasn't made any progress with Yoongi, however. 

 

In fact, he'd go as far as to say they're friends now. He learns something new about his roommate everyday, like the fact that he composes. He used to love producing, he tells Taehyung, and it's probably the one thing that he misses the most about his old life. 

 

That, and his puppy, Holly. Taehyung confesses that he misses Yeontan as well. They spend an embarrassingly long time talking about their dogs, and Taehyung is smitten. 

 

They also bond over more serious topics, when the nicotine makes Yoongi languid and lazy and Taehyung is drunk off his smile. 

 

"I stabbed someone," Taehyung admits one night, apropos of nothing. 

 

"I stabbed someone and I can't bring myself to regret it," he whispers, tilting his head and letting his bangs shadow his eyes.

 

Yoongi doesn't offer him apologies, doesn't show fear nor pity. Instead; he opens his mouth and says, 

 

"I doused my room in gasoline and tried to set myself on fire." 

 

A secret for a secret. Fair enough. 

 

"He was my sister's fiance. Tried to take advantage of her. He raised his hand against her at that party... I wanted to make sure it was the last thing he ever did." 

 

Yoongi plays with his lighter, "I was in a dark place. Had too much to drink. May have smashed a bottle or two," he smiles mirthlessly, "alcohol is pretty flammable." 

 

"Broken bottles. We seem to have that in common," Taehyung chuckles darkly. 

 

It's silent for a while, both of them stewing in their thoughts. 

 

"What brought you here?" 

 

Taehyung lifts his head and Yoongi's question. It sounds like a single, direct question, but Taehyung hears all the other ones he doesn't say.

_'What drove you to this point? Who made you this way? What started it? What brought you here? '_

 

"The burden of expectations," he answers truthfully. He's watching Yoongi's face carefully, and can spot the exact moment Yoongi's eyes widen, then soften. 

 

"Seems like we have more in common than broken bottles, then," Yoongi lets out after a moment, meeting his eyes, lips curved into a small smile. Taehyung's heart pounds. He looks vulnerable, less harsh. Like he's lowered all his gritty walls. 

 

Like he realized that he couldn't keep Taehyung away and softened all his sharp edges because he didn't want to hurt him. 

 

Taehyung's heart feels too full, and he can't help himself. He slowly, slowly, _slowly_ wraps his arms around the elder, afraid of crushing him or scaring him away. 

 

 _'Like a butterfly'_ he thinks, and hugs him tight. 

 

("Let's share the burden, hyung.")


	4. IV

It's a few days later and there's still radio silence from Jeongguk. He doesn't even come out for food, instead choosing to remain in his room and have a nurse bring his food to him.

 

Seokjin gathers them for an intervention. He looks a little frazzled, a little flustered, as he asks for their help.

 

"I don't know what to do. I'm running out of ideas. He's not responding well to any of the treatments," he paces in frustration, carding his hands through his hair. 

 

"I'm open to any suggestions. You guys are more familiar with him than I am," he says, biting his lip, "I just... I just want to help him get better." 

 

In the end, Hoseok proposes they give the introduction thing a try, and they all reluctantly agree. If Jeongguk is suprised by the strange proposal, he doesn't show it. 

 

"Alright!" Hoseok claps his hands together, looking at them with an exuberant grin. 

 

They're all seated in the circle. Taehyung feels like he's in Primary school. He shares a commiserating glance with Yoongi, but refrains from making any comments. 

 

Going clockwise, it's Taehyung, Yoongi, Jimin, Hoseok, Jungkook, and then Seokjin. They know it's for the Jeongguk's sake. Hoseok and Seokjin are the two he's most familiar with, even if it's only on professional terms. The poor boy looks equal parts confused and embarrassed, and Taehyung empathizes.

 

When Hoseok has everyone's attention, he starts talking. 

 

"This is the Introduction Circle, Jeongukkie. We'll all take a turn saying our name and a fact about ourselves," Yoongi snorts and Hoseok ignores him, "Why don't you go first?" 

 

"Um," says Jeongguk, eyes darting between them all. Taehyung tries his best to look encouraging, elbowing Yoongi in the side and hissing at him to _smile, dammnit, you're scaring the kid!_

 

When it looks like Jeongguk isn't quite sure how to continue, Jimin looks at him a little sympathetically and speaks instead. 

 

"Hello, I'm Jimin. I'm here--" he falters a little, but pushes on, "I'm here because I used to starve myself," Jimin ends with a hesitant smile. He looks a little self-conscious, and it makes Taehyung's heart ache. 

 

_'Can't have that,'_ he thinks, and decides to go next. 

 

"Hello! I'm Kim Taehyung and I killed someone," He says cheerfully, winking when he catches Jimin's shocked eyes. 

 

Yoongi, catching on, speaks up next with a smirk. "'Sup. I'm Min Yoongi. I set my house on fire," He drawls, easy as you please. Hoseok rolls his eyes. 

 

Jimin's giggling a little at this point - _Success!_ \- and Jeongguk's eyes are wide. Shocked? Horrified? Taehyung doesn't know, but he smiles and nods at him in encouragement. 

 

"Um. I'm Jeongguk. J-jeon Jeongguk. I'm here... Because I'm. Um. I'm suicidal. I... " He trails off, avoiding eye contact with everyone. 

 

Everyone in the circle is silent. It stretches on for an uncomfortably long time. No one knows quite what to say. 

 

Well, no one apart from Taehyung. 

 

"So, have any of you been arrested before? I have." He smiles guilessly, and just like that the tension breaks.

Jeongguk is looking at him in disbelief, but underneath that Taehyung can see he's not going to turn tail and flee anymore. He seems reluctanty relieved. Taehyung is glad.

 

The rest of the session goes by with Taehyung making a fool out of himself to make Jeongguk feel more comfortable. 

 

He feels Yoongi's stare on him the whole time. He doesn't turn around. 

* * *

 

Everyone has a breaking point, and Taehyung is there when Jeongguk reaches his. 

 

It starts as a fight over the most insignificant of things: Hair color. 

 

Taehyung is sitting in the common room, playing a word game with Jimin. Jeongguk, seated next to Jimin, is trying hard to project an air of nonchalance. 

 

Taehyung loses the round, pouts gracefully, and badgers the younger into playing against Jimin. Jimin weathers Jeongguk's grumbled complaints with an indulgent smile. 

 

Taehyung's attention is redirected from the squabbling duo when he hears Seokjin call out a greeting. 

 

He turns around, meaning to crack a joke about his tardiness, and pauses when he sees him. He looks... Different. What is it-

 

"Hyung, you bleached your hair!" Jimin exclaims when he spots him, and Taehyung realizes that he's right. 

 

Seokjin's light brown hair is now blonde. It's a good look for him. 

 

"You look good, hyung," he voices out his thoughts, and Jeongguk nods in agreement beside Jimin.

 

"I know, but thank you kids." Seokjin chuckles, winking at them. 

 

"Man, I miss having blonde hair," Jimin mumbles with a pout. 

 

"You pull off bubblegum quite well, Minnie," Taehyung reassures him, "but you shouldn't bleach it again. You might go bald." 

 

Jimin hits him on the arm as he laughs, and they dissolve into friendly banter about hair dye. 

 

"Maybe we should ask Seokjin-hyung to help us dye our hair," Jimin suggests after some time, "he might even take us to a hair salon!" 

 

"Ah.. I doubt that. I think we could convince him to bring the supplies here, though," He tells him. 

 

"Sure. Give the nut cases some chemicals. That will go over well," Jimin snorts good-naturedly. 

 

"Hey, Kook, what do you think?" 

 

Taehyung glances at Jeongguk, who's been suspiciously quiet the whole time. He's refusing to meet their eyes, and his hands are clenched into fists. 

 

"Jeongguk? Are you okay-" 

 

"Shut up. You think this is funny?" He snaps suddenly. They both recoil as Jeongguk staggers up from the couch. 

 

"What? What do you mean? We were just kidding, Kookie," Jimin tries, and Jeongguk turns his glare on him. 

 

"There's nothing to joke about. We're stuck here for God knows how long. We're invalids who can't be trusted alone. Do you understand where you are? This is a place for crazy people. We can't do normal people things anymore," Jeongguk scoffs, "because we're not normal." 

 

"Hey, calm down. You're making a big deal out of this-" Taehyung tries to put a hand on his shoulder, but Jeongguk pushes him off. 

 

"Oh, what do you know?" He snarls, "Kim Taehyung, son of one of the biggest Business owners in the country. What do you know about suffering?"

 

Jeongguk is fuming, too angry to think before he speaks, and Taehyung is starting to get a little scared. Where's Seokjin?! 

 

"-in fact, I bet the only reason you're here is to keep you out of jail. Daddy pull some strings, did he? Are you happy here, you murderer-"

 

_Crack._

 

Taehyung's mind is reeling. The world is moving in slow motion, and he can't hear anything. Him- a murderer? Is that what Jeongguk thinks? Is that what everyone thinks? 

 

And then he realizes that the reason Jeongguk stopped talking was because someone punched him in the face. 

 

No, not someone. 

 

Yoongi. 

* * *

 

"Uh. Mind if I join you?" 

 

Taehyung lifts his head up from his knees. His eyes are red and puffy, and through his tears he can make out Seokjin. He just sniffles and buries his face back in his arms. 

 

Seokjin sits down next to him with a sigh. 

 

"What happened back there..." he trails off, not sure how to start. 

 

"Sorry. That I wasn't there, I mean," he says awkwardly, and Taehyung turns his head a little to peak at him. 

 

He looks tired. His hair is disheveled, like he keeps tugging on it. He's not wearing his labcoat, and Taehyung can make out a smear of blood on his shirt cuff. 

 

"I didn't want to... Interfere, at first. Some times we have to sit back and let the... residents resolve their issues on their own. It's only natural for people to get agitated in such close company. It wasn't... It escalated a little too quickly. Sorry about that." 

 

He leans his head back and closes his eyes. 

 

"Does everyone really think that?" 

 

Seokjin opens his eyes and looks down at him, "What?" 

 

"Does everyone really think I'm a murderer? That I  only came here for a free jail pass? I know I joke about it alot, I just. I don't know," he sighs heavily, voice fading out into a whisper, "I didn't think they'd hate me for it." 

 

Seokjin is quiet for a while. Taehyung's eyes burn. 

 

"No." 

 

Snapping his head up, he meets the elder:s serious gaze. Seokjin lays his hands firmly on his shoulders.

 

"No, Taehyung. _Tae._ Everyone knows you're not like that. Most of them don't even know about the Incident,since they don't have access to the outside world. Jeongguk is just," he sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"He's new, and probably terrified. It's obvious he's having a hard time adjusting to everything."

 

Taehyung sniffles, and Seokjin ruffles his hair.

 

"You're not a killer, Tae-ah. You didn't murder someone in cold blood. You were trying to protect your sister the only way you knew how, and that's admirable," Seokjin grins wryly, "even if the motive behind your method was somewhat questionable."

 

Taehyung hiccups a laugh, and Seokjin smiles reluctantly. 

 

"Give him a chance, Tae. He wasn't in his right mind." Seokjin says, tone apologetic. Taehyung tries to be the bigger man and not look affronted. 

 

"I'll... I'll think about it, hyung," he aquisces, rubbing his nose with his shirt sleeve. 

 

"Thank you, Tae-ah. You're a good kid." Seokjin smiles at him, patting his shoulder and pushing himself up. He doesn't ask if Taehyung wants to come back down, and he's grateful for that. 

 

He reaches the doorway to the rooftop- because of course that's where Taehyung went- before he pauses, looking at him over his shoulder. 

 

"Oh, and Tae? Don't think you're off the hook for sneaking out at night," he grins sharply as Taehyung pales, "and for God's sake, go talk to Yoongi!" 

With that ominous comment, Seokjin turns around and leaves. 

 

 

 


	5. V

Taehyung returns to tense silence.

 

He spots Jeongguk first, sitting on the couch with his face in his hands. Jimin is on his left, hands fluttering around his character like he doesn't know quite where to put them.

Hoseok is on Jeongguk's right, hand firmly on his shoulder, speaking to him in a low tone. Seokjin is standing behind the couch.

 

Yoongi is nowhere in sight.

 

They all spot him at once, and Taehyung feels uncomfortable being the center of attention. He shuffles in place and waves a little awkwardly.

 

What follows next can only be described as organized chaos. In seconds, Jeongguk is literally kneeling in front of him, begging for forgiveness through sobs.

Jimin is trying to hug him and admonish him at once. Hoseok is-- for once-- the calm one, staying where he is and offering him a solemn nod.

Until he brings up a clipboard from God-knows-where, flipped to a certain page. Taehyung can make out what must be Jeongguk's medical profile. His achievements column is distinctly gold-star free. Taehyung doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

 

"Kook, hey, Kook! It's okay, buddy," he tries to smile reassuringly, "I forgive you."

 

And honestly, he does. It's hard to hold onto his anger in the face of Jeongguk's sincere, bold-faced apologies. He looks like he's berating himself heavily. That, and his nose is still bleeding sluggishly. Taehyung thinks that's punishment enough.

 

 _'Yoongi just punched a guy for me.'_ He tries to be disturbed at how hot he finds that. He fails. 

 

After reassuring them that he's fine, he walks towards his room. Out of courtesy, he knocks at the door, and Yoongi opens it.

 

He takes one look at Taehyung's tear-stained face, sighs heavily, and pulls him into a hug.

 

("Let's share the burden, Taehyung-ah.")

* * *

 

The next few weeks are rough on them all. Taehyung is still wary around Jeongguk, Jeongguk is still wary around Yoongi, and Jimin is trying his best to keep things civil.

 

The tense atmosphere grates on his nerves. He ends up on the roof more often than not.

 

Most of the time, Yoongi is there. More than once, Taehyung finds him writing. He tries not to disturb him too much, opting to hum random songs under his breath. Yoongi tells him it's soothing.

 

Today, however, he's alone.

B.H Boarding School is really just a cover, he realizes. The two-story building overlooks a manicured, well-kept garden. With the elegant windows and the secluded area, anyone looking in from the outside would no doubt mistake it for a prestigious private school. On the inside looking out, it can't be more different.

Taehyung is just glad he doesn't have to take any actual lessons. 

 

There's the sound of footsteps, and Taehyung's stupid heart picks up pace. He's a little disappointed when he realizes it's just Seokjin.

 

"Hey." The elder greets him. Taehyung smiles in lieu of an answer. He continues humming.

 

"You know, I'm not used to coming up here often."

Taehyung turns to look at him and tilts his head in question.

 

"Usually only Yoongi comes here. It feels.. wrong, you know? Barging in on him when he's here. This place is his sanctuary. I would feel unwelcome," he laughs, and Taehyung almost contradicts him.

 

 _Yoongi never made_ him _feel unwelcome._

 

A thought comes to him then: does he know about...?

 

"Hyung, so you know about..?" he starts and trails off purposely, careful not to reveal too much lest he tip him off.

 

"The cigarettes? Yeah. It's..." Seokjin sighs, pushing a hand through his hair. "It's not my place to tell, but don't worry. He's not breaking any rules."

 

Taehyung flushes at the knowing look the elder sends him and doesn't know why.

 

"By the way... We didn't specify you had to write in the journal. Why'd you choose to do that?" Seokjin asks later, shivering A little. The sun has set and it's starting to get cold. 

 

He's right, Taehyung realizes after a moment. Hoseok never specifically told him to write in it, just to turn it in for weekly inspection. He's the one who chose to treat it like a diary.

 

"I didn't know I had an option," he laughs sheepishly. "What do the others do, then?"

 

Seokjin shakes his head and mimes zipping his lips. Right, patient confidentiality. Taehyung has always been too curious, he'll probably find out by himself anyway.

 

Deciding that he's been up here long enough, Taehyung follows Seokjin downstairs. They find Jeongguk and Jimin in the common room, watching television.

Jeongguk's nose is healing along nicely, thankfully not broken. They appear to be cuddling.

 

There's something there, in the way Jeongguk is feeding Jimin grapes and the way Jimin spends most of his time glued to the younger's side. It isn't Taehyung's place to ask, so he doesn't.

 

He waves at them and quickly makes his way to his room. He foregoes knocking and enters, finding Yoongi sitting on his bed. He's yawning as he waves Taehyung over.

 

"Hey, Taehyung," he greets, scooting over to let the other sit next to him.

 

"Hey, hyung. Are you sleepy?" Taehyung asks, noting with concern the deep eye bags under his eyes.

 

"Aren't I always?" Yoongi jokes, then sighs when he sees the worry in his eyes. "I'm an insomniac, Tae-ah. I don't really sleep much," he grins humorlessly.

 

Oh. That explains alot. Taehyung bites his lip, speaking before he can stop himself.

 

"Need me to help?" He blurts out, then realizes how suggestive that might sound. He can see his blush mirrored on the elder's pale cheeks. It's an oddly fetching color on him.

 

"I-I mean! I can s-sing for you? You said you find it soothing, I can.. I mean, if it helps? It's okay if you don't want me to, I'm sorry-" Taehyung rambles, about to run away and fling himself off the rooftop, when he feels a hand on his wrist.

 

"Sure, Tae-ah," Yoongi's grip is gentle, his smile is soft, and Taehyung is so, so weak, "I'd love to."

* * *

 

It's when he sees the calendar on Hoseok's desk that he realizes he's been here for a month already.

 

"Huh, time passed quickly," he mumbles to himself absent-mindedly.

 

"Hm?" Yoongi turns around from his conversation with Jeongguk to look at him. They're sitting in the therapy room, at Hoseok's request.

He'd gathered them for an announcement, only smiling mischievously when Taehyung questioned him about it.

 

"Ah.. It's nothing, hyung," he grins at him-- and it must surely be a trick of the light, but he's almost certain he saw the tips of his ears turn red.

 

He's distracted when Yoongi clears his throat and points behind him. Taehyung turns around and sees-

Sees... Namjoon?

 

"Hyung?" He whispers in the suddenly quiet room, not believing his eyes. Namjoon smiles, dimples poking holes into his cheeks, and opens his arms. Taehyung's moving before he knows it, hugging Namjoon, Namjoon who is warm and real and he's here, here, he's _here!_

 

Taehyung doesn't even realize he's crying until Namjoon pulls back to wipe his tears.

 

"Hey, Tae-ah." He whispers, grinning. "Why are you crying? I thought you'd be happy to see me." His brother pouts ridiculously.

"I am, hyung! But, how?" he asks, equal parts shocked and elated. 

 

"It's been a month, Taehyung. You've been very well behaved, so we decided to surprise you." It's Seokjin who answers him, coming up behind Namjoon to wrap his arm around his waist.

 

Taehyung looks around at everyone, and they're all smiling back at him. Even Jeongguk, who looks wistful, gives him a quick grin. They all genuinely look happy for him. Taehyung feels warm.

 

He feels like he... belongs.

 

Taehyung drags Namjoon around, introducing him to everyone. His brother just smiles and lets him, exchanging pleasantries with everyone. He keeps the best for last.

 

"This is Yoongi-hyung, my roommate. Oh, weren't you guys in school together?" he introduces them. Namjoon goes stiff next to him and Yoongi noticably tenses.

 

Taehyung may not be the sharpest, but he's not dumb. He knows that they have history, even though he never heard his brother talk about Yoongi before. He's a little hurt, regardless. He doesn't know why he foolishly expected the two to get along for his sake.

 

He just wanted his brother to like Yoongi, (what was Yoongi to him, anyway? His crush? His fellow loon?) and vice versa.

 

"It's... It's good to see you, hyung." Namjoon offers, smiling even though it doesn't quite reach his eyes. Yoongi inclines his head back, and awkwardly excuses himself. Namjoon sighs.

 

Taehyung raises his eyebrow, mouthing _'we'll talk about this later'_ at his brother. Namjoon sighs louder.  
  
  



	6. VI

Namjoon leaves a little after dinner. He hugs Taehyung tight and tells him he's proud of him, and Taehyung almost starts crying again. He promises to try and visit whenever he's allowed to. 

 

Lying in bed, Taehyung ponders what his brother told him. He'd explained that yes, he did know Yoongi, and no, he didn't know Yoongi would be here. He tells Taehyung to ask his roommate for the details, only giving him a basic overview of their history. 

 

He hears the water shut off in the bathroom, and sits up in his bed. He'd been waiting to get Yoongi alone. (He curses himself quitley as he blushes at the implications of that.) 

 

Yoongi, bless him, doesn't even try to pretend ignorance. He sighs and tells Taehyung to scoot over. His hair is wet, dripping into the towel on his shoulders, and Taehyung almost misses it when he starts talking. 

 

"Your brother and I.. We go way back," he starts when he makes sure Taehyung is paying attention. "We were both young and foolish. We met in high school. Both of us," here Yoongi huffs out a laugh, "wanted to become rap stars." 

 

It's the first Taehyung is hearing of this. His brother never liked talking about the past, especially since that whole fiasco with their father. He listens to the story with rapt attention. 

 

"Namjoon was always destined for great things. He was such a nerd," Yoongi snickers, but it's not mocking.

He continues, "We hardly ever got along, honestly. We were in completely different crowds, never spoke to each other. I remember he was infatuated with Seokjin-hyung, even then." 

 

Another interesting fact. "Cute," Taehyung smiles softly and Yoongi returns it. 

 

"Yeah. Seokjin-hyung and I were surprisingly close, in contrast. I knew he was pining after your brother, too. The first time I talked to Namjoon I threatened to break his teeth if he ever hurt him." Yoongi snorts, shoots Taehyung an apologetic look as if afraid he'd offended him. Taehyung pats his arm in understanding. 

 

"Um. Well, yeah. So then they started dating, and we started interacting more often." Yoongi smiles ruefully, "Imagine my surprise when I find out the nerdy klutz and I have something in common; our love for rap." 

 

Yoongi lays his head back against the pillow, making himself comfortable. Taehyung shifts a little, body drawing closer to Yoongi's and it's _completely_ accidental. 

 

"I remember we were in senior year in high school. On top of my house, the three of us were on the roof. Seokjin-hyung was asleep, and Namjoon and I ended up talking. We talked about our dreams and aspirations.." Yoongi's voice grows soft and wistful. 

 

"We decided to try. Pursuing rap," Yoongi laughs at Taehyung's doubtful expression, "yeah, your hyung and I. We even swore to apply to the same university." 

 

"So then.. What happened?" 

 

Yoongi closes his eyes, sighs. His smile looks equal parts nostalgic and remorseful. Taehyung struggles not to reach out and touch him, wants to carefully smooth down the edges until he looks happy again. 

 

"Then, we started working towards our shared dream. _'Team work makes the dream work'_ he used to say. We wrote songs together, rapped in bars and clubs in hopes that one of us would get scouted." 

 

Yoongi opens his eyes, and just like that the remorse is gone, replaced with anger. Taehyung thinks that Yoongi's anger probably burns cold, a furious blizzard, an avalanche of emotions that buries his unsuspecting victim in frigid, sharp ice. 

 

Taehyung feels frozen, knows objectively that Yoongi isn't mad at him, but he holds the elder's arm like it's an anchor in a snowstorm. 

 

"I don't remember much of that night. The rap industry is brutal, and we were just amateurs looking for a chance at success. We were good, but not good enough. There's a saying that if you don't climb your way up to the top," Yoongi says darkly, "you'll end up buried underground." 

 

The more Yoongi talks, the more heated he gets, "The underground was even worse than the rap industry. People competed, bets were placed. Your words were your worth. If you lose a battle, you lose a war. You become nothing." 

 

Taehyung realizes he's so, so wrong. Yoongi's anger burns hot and bright like a supernova. Yoongi's skin under his hand is an open flame, and Taehyung feels like he'll get incinerated if he gets too close. The air is charged, explosive, and Yoongi's just ignited. 

 

"We were winning. I knew we were winning, and so did everyone. Those bastards knew it too, and they refused to go down graciously. We were still kids. They were older, more experienced. We didn't stand a chance." 

 

Yoongi sighs, deflating. At that, Taehyung realizes that Yoongi's anger is neither. He's not one nor the other, he's both; snow and lava meeting in the middle, fusing to form rock-hard obsidian. Yoongi's anger is strong and stable and unbreakable. Taehyung feels hot, feels cold, feels like he should get away before he loses control. 

 

"Your father was the one who found us first. My parents wanted nothing to do with me at that point. Namjoon.... He was hurt, badly. Your father blamed it on me." He opens his eyes, looking lost in memory. 

There's glittering in his eyelashes as he speaks, tears held at bay that refuse to fall. Even in his weakness, Yoongi is strong. 

 

"He told me to never talk to his son again. I cut off all contact with your brother after that. He went into law school. I applied to that college we both wanted," he whispers, "I cried when I got accepted." 

 _You're crying now_ , he wants to tell him.

 _He forgives you_ , he wants to say.

That brittle smile is back again, and Taehyung wants, wants, _wants_. 

 

Taehyung wants to kiss Yoongi, so he does. 

 

Kissing Yoongi is nothing like he expected, in that it blows all his expectations straight out the water. 

 

The fact that he doesn't push Taehyung away and recoil in disgust is a blessing on its own. 

 

His lips are soft, a little chapped. He tastes like mint and something a little bitter that steals Taehyung's breathe completely. 

 

 _'Must be the tobacco,'_ Taehyung thinks a little deliriously and kisses him again, again, again. 

 

They part, foreheads touching, and Yoongi asks him what this means. 

 

"Anything you want it to." 


	7. VII

Taehyung is carrying his laundry basket to the laundry room when he stumbles upon Jimin. He's sitting on top of the washing machine, knees drawn up to his chest. He shoots Taehyung a small smile when he sees him. 

 

It's quiet for a while. Taehyung seperates the darks and whites, puts his clothes into the only other washing machine, measures out the right amount of detergent and turns it on. When the machine rumbles to life, he climbs up next to Jimin. 

 

Taehyung waits. They both sit there, listening to the sound of the washing machine. 

 

"Do you ever feel like disappearing?" Jimin asks. 

 

"Sometimes." _Always._ "What about you?" 

 

"Can't really disappear if no one ever sees you in the first place," Jimin answers, muffled in the sleeves of his sweater. 

 

Taehyung hums. "Jeongguk sees you." 

 

"Does he?" Jimin lifts his head up, looking at Taehyung. He looks so young, so sad, Taehyung's heart aches. 

 

"He does. Jeongguk is always looking," he tells his friend softly, "He always sees you." 

 

Jimin sighs, burying his head back in his arms. "Not the way I want him to." 

 

It's quiet again. The washing machine continues whirring. 

 

"Hey, Jimin? What do you use your journal for?" 

 

"Well, it's more or less a growth chart. I use it to monitor my weight," he says, "it was Hobi-hyung's idea." 

 

"That's pretty neat. Do you know about the others?" Taehyung asks.

He's really glad Jimin is taking care of his health, yet he can't help but use this opportunity to do a little reconnaissance. 

 

"Ah, maybe? I know Kookie draws in his, and you use yours... like a diary, right?" He answers hesitantly and Taehyung nods. Drawing, huh? He wonders how good the younger is. 

 

Then he realizes, "That's pretty private, Minnie. Did he tell you himself or did you take a peak?" He can't help but tease Jimin. 

 

The other sputters in denial, hitting Taehyung on the arm when he realizes he's just joking. It hurts, but it's worth seeing him smile. 

 

He can't help but let his thoughts drift. Him and Yoongi are close, aren't they? How come Jimin and Jeongguk know about the other's journals, but he doesn't?

Yoongi is a private guy, and he respects that alot, but he still feels a little upset about it. He shoves all his doubts in a box and focuses on smiling. 

 

He spends the rest of the day telling Jimin about his misadventures as a child. They exchange stories about high-school, with Taehyung filling the other in about all the things he's been missing out on in the outside world. 

 

The laundry room is filled with the sound of chatter and soft laughter. He's glad that Jimin is enjoying his company. When the washing cycle is done, Taehyung removes his load and bids the other goodbye. 

 

_( "You should tell him, Chim."_

_"....Maybe some day.")_

* * *

 

[Yoongi] 

He's on the roof again. Taehyung is sleeping, for once, and Yoongi didn't feel like disturbing him. He survived four years in this place without him; he can handle a damn night on his own. 

 

Still, he feels lonely. This place is far enough from the city that it's not affected by light pollution. Yoongi watches the stars twinkle against the velvet black backdrop of the night. 

 

The clear starry night is melancholic. It was a night exactly like this one, a couple years back, where he lived one of the best moments in his life. 

 

Young and naive and so full of daydreams, two boys had made a promise.

Yoongi kept it for both of them. 

 

"Yoongi, someone's here to see you." 

 

He turns around at the sound of Seokjin's voice, startled. Usually no one disturbs him when he's up here. Taehyung, in what is quickly becoming a habit, is the only exception. 

 

It's a different Kim that stands in the doorway tonight. 

 

Namjoon slowly approaches him, Seokjin remaining behind at the door to the roof. He shuts it to give them some privacy. 

 

"Been a while." Yoongi nods his head in greeting, sans cigarette this time. 

 

"Ah.. yeah. I wasn't expecting to meet you here." 

 

"Sure you weren't just expecting not to meet me at all?" Yoongi jokes, but he can't quite stop the ugly truth from rearing its head. 

 

Namjoon must catch something in his voice-- the same uncanny ability to decipher his emotions that Taehyung has, damn Kims-- because he turns to face him. 

 

"Listen, hyung. I didn't know you were in any kind of trouble, otherwise I'd have helped. I can still fight for your case, you know-" 

 

"No, Namjoon." Yoongi cuts him off, meeting the other's eyes, "There wasn't anything you could've done then and there's nothing you can do now." 

 

Yoongi smiles sadly, "I've already accepted it." 

 

"Hyung.." Namjoon trails off, and for all his growth and experience he still looks every bit the lost, young boy that used to look up to him for guidance. 

 

Yoongi sighs, suddenly wishing he had a cigarette. 

 

"I'm sorry for going MIA so suddenly," he says seriously, "but it was for your own good." 

 

Namjoon's brows knit in confusion. "Hyung, are you hearing yourself right now? What could you possibly mean? "

 

"You're a successful lawyer now, Joon. You've done well for yourself. You don't need to be dragged down by a childish dream. We wouldn't have succeeded anyway."

Yoongi wills himself to believe the things he's saying. 

"Your dad was right, I was a bad influence; I'm sorry about that. Don't worry, though, I'm not going to get in your little brother's way." 

 

He watches Namjoon get steadily angrier. Any moment now, he'd get fed up with the bull Yoongi is spouting. Yoongi wishes he'd punch him, but he knows Namjoon is too rational for that. 

 

"This is not about Taehyung and we both know it," he snaps. 

 

"Besides, you're wrong. I know you got into that university. I know you became a famous rapper. I've been following your progress, hyung." 

 

Yoongi isn't sure what expression he's making right now, but it causes Namjoon's face to soften. He sighs. 

 

"I didn't give up on our dream. Every day, every free moment I had was spent on music. I bought all your albums," he smiles at Yoongi softly. 

 

"I never forgot our promise. I was just waiting for you to come back." 

 

Yoongi's resolve crumbles. He strides over to the younger male and envelopes him into a hug. 

He mumbles a litany of apologies against Namjoon's jacket. _'He had faith I'd come back,'_ he thinks, overwhelmed. God, he'd missed this kid. 

 

Namjoon pats his back awkwardly. Yoongi collects himself enough to back off, wiping a tear discretely. 

 

"Prison sure changed you, hyung," Namjoon teases him with a small smile. Yoongi punches him on the shoulder and laughs gruffly.

 

"Sorry for making you wait, Joonie." He smiles, feeling a lot lighter now. 

"No worries. I.... I missed you, hyung." 

Yoongi pats him on the shoulder, but doesn't voice his thoughts. He's met his emotional quota for this week. 

 

They talk well into the night, catching up on years of separation. Namjoon _really_ has done well for himself, and Yoongi beams with pride. 

 

"You've made quite the name for yourself, hyung. We should collaborate sometime." 

 

Yoongi snorts at Namjoon's excited face. "Sure, if I ever get out." 

 

Suddenly, Namjoon expression shifts, eyes glinting. 

 

"You may be a celebrity, but I'm still not letting you hurt my brother," he says threateningly, "break his heart and I'll break your teeth!" 

 

Yoongi knows that phrase, has _said it himself_ before, and he stifles a laugh. From the way the corner of Namjoon's mouth quirks, he's realized the same thing. 

 

"I wouldn't. Not for the world." 

 


	8. VIII

"You've stopped smoking." 

 

Yoongi hums, looking up from his journal. Taehyung is leaning his head on his shoulder, playing with Yoongi's unoccupied hand. He laces their fingers together. 

 

"Not completely. I do smoke less, though," he admits, shrugs, and goes back to writing. The motion displaces Taehyung's head from his shoulder, making him pout. 

 

"I'm glad. Hey... What are you writing, anyway?" He peaks at the journal, seeing what looks like music notes, before his boyfriend snaps it shut.

He feels overly giddy, repeating the phrase twice more in his head. _His boyfriend._

 

"Nothing," Yoongi mumbles, shoving the journal under his pillow. His ears are turning red.

 

Taehyung squints at him, but lets it go. He'll find out eventually. 

 

"Say, hyung, why were you so angry when we first met?" He asks, laying his head on Yoongi's shoulder again.

 

"Ah, that? Well," he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, "I was a bit cranky. Seokjin-hyung didn't let me smoke for a while, I was having something of a withdrawal. Sorry about that, by the way."

 

"What, nicotine withdrawal?" He asks curiously, squeezing Yoongi's hand to show that he'd forgiven him.

 

"Yeah," Yoongi huffs, "Hyung regulates my cigarette use. I used to be really addicted to them, but I guess I'm getting better now."

 

"Really? What changed your mind?" Taehyung winces, damn his foot-in-mouth syndrome. Before he can apologize for being insensitive, Yoongi beats him to it.

 

"You." Taehyung's breath catches, because Yoongi is looking at him as he says it. 

 

"You did." He repeats, smiling softly. "You came into my life with all the grace of a bulldozer. I was too busy making sure you didn't fall off the roof to try and smoke."

 

Taehyung feels alarmingly close to tears, feels like there's not enough air in the world and he's struggling to breathe past his love for this man.

 

He thinks, _God, I really care for him._

Means, _I love him past words; way beyond meaning._

Settles for saying, "I purple you, hyung."

 

It's so sudden that Yoongi laughs. "What?"

 

"Purple like, like violet. It's the last color in the rainbow, it's there at the end. It means that," he meets Yoongi's eyes, stutters, "I'll trust you, l-love you, till the end. More than e-every color. More than purple."

 

 _More than anything,_ he wants to say, but Yoongi's mouth steals the words off the tip of his tongue. 

 

"I purple you, too, Tae-ah." 

* * *

 

"Taehyung?" 

 

Taehyung is woken from his sleep by gentle hands running through his hair. He opens his eyes, squinting in the barely-lit room until he can focus on Yoongi. He grumbles something incoherent and slowly gets up. 

 

"Hey." Yoongi smiles softly. He looks ethereal in the dark, fractions of moonlight scattered across his hair and illuminating his face. Taehyung takes a few moments to appreciate how beautiful the other is. 

 

"What's up, hyung?" Taehyung yawns.

 

Yoongi starts to look vaguely guilty. "Ah, are you tired? Sorry, Tae, you could go back to sleep. It can wait until the morning." 

 

His boyfriend is so cute when he rambles. Taehyung smiles and shuts him up with a peck. 

 

"I'm up now, anyway. Might as well." He stretches, watching Yoongi watch him intensely and tries not to flush. "What is it?" 

 

"I finished the song. Wanted to show you, first." That red hue Taehyung is starting to love is creeping up Yoongi's neck. 

 

"Song?" He parrots in confusion. 

 

Yoongi makes a noise of realization and gets off the bed. He motions for Taehyung to stay where he is, and he waits patiently as Yoongi ruffles around in the dark. 

 

He's holding his journal when he comes back, and Taehyung automatically scoots over. His curiosity is definatley peaked. 

 

He watches Yoongi flip through the pages, mesmerized with the contents. There's lyrics on some pages, gone by too fast to see, but what fascinates him the most is the multiple music score sheets; pages filled with meticulous notes and symbols that Taehyung only has a mild recollection of from his music theory classes. 

 

He finally stops on a page, and Taehyung leans in. 

 

"The song. I've been playing around with some lyrics, and your humming worked well as a beat." Yoongi hums a little, probably intending to re-create the beat he had in mind, and Taehyung can't stop the laugh that bubbles out of him. 

 

Yoongi's petulant pout is entirely too adorable."Sorry, hyung, but you're probably better off a rapper," Taehyung giggles. 

 

They go over the song together. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful, and Taehyung makes sure to praise his boyfriend's excellent composition skills. It's intended for Yoongi's piano skills and Taehyung's vocals and both their words. Taehyung loves it already. 

 

"When we get out, hyung," Taehyung promises, because it's when, _not if_ , "we will perform it together." 

 

Yoongi laughs against him, and it's warm and sleepy and content. 

 

Taehyung makes sure Yoongi is asleep before he closes his eyes. They both drift off with small smiles on their faces.

Under their interlocked hands Yoongi's journal lays open, page bookmarked; Taehyung's doodles in the margins and Yoongi's cramped notes between the lyrics. 

 

There's no heading on the page, no title for the song. A gentle breeze wafts in from the window, rustling the pages a little. 

 

It moves like the flutter of a butterfly's wings. 

 

_Fin_

 

 

 

 

 

 


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